Winning the Rivalry with How You Play

The game is over.

And whatever the result was, I want to ask a different question than the one everybody else is going to ask about this game.

Not who won. How did you play? Did you compete in a way you’re proud of? Did you stay yourself through the intensity of the game, or did the rivalry make you into someone you don’t want to be?

Read this passage slowly.

Let that sit for a second before you move.

The integrity of the upright guides them. In a game where the emotional pull is the strongest it gets all season, integrity is the compass. It says: this is who I am regardless of the situation. And the competitor guided by that compass is the competitor who wins something the scoreboard doesn’t capture.

The rivalry result will be debated, replayed, and remembered by people outside this room for years. How you competed in it — whether you brought your best self into the elevated environment or let the rivalry pull something worse out of you — that will be remembered by the people in this room for longer.

If the result was a win: did you win with character? Did you compete fully and cleanly and treat the opponent with the dignity the competition deserved?

If the result was a loss: did you lose with dignity? Did you give everything and hold the standard even when the outcome was going against you?

Both of those are wins available in every rivalry game, regardless of the scoreboard. The win of having competed in a way you’re proud of. That win belongs to you permanently.

Honest self-assessment post-game. The question is about character in competition, not performance quality.