When an Athlete Opens Up to You

An athlete told you something.

Something real — not the surface version of themselves they show to the coaching staff and the team, but something underneath that. The struggle, the doubt, the thing they’ve been carrying that nobody else in the program knows.

That is an extraordinary thing. And it comes with responsibilities you need to think about clearly.

Read this passage slowly.

Let that sit for a second before you move.

A trustworthy person keeps a secret. The chaplain’s value to an athletic program rests entirely on the reliability of confidence. The athlete who shared something with you did so because they believed you were safe. And that belief, once established, must be honored without exception. The chaplain who shares what was disclosed — to the coach, to a teammate, to anyone not directly authorized — destroys not just that relationship but the trust that makes the chaplaincy function for everyone else in the program.

What are your actual obligations when an athlete discloses something significant? A few important distinctions.

Confidentiality is the norm. What the athlete shares with you stays with you, with two critical exceptions: imminent harm to themselves or others. If the disclosure involves plans or credible risk of harm, your obligation shifts from confidentiality to safety. Know your organization’s specific protocols for mandatory reporting and follow them.

Beyond the safety exception: hold what was shared carefully. Don’t use it in devotionals, even anonymized, without explicit permission. Don’t let it change how you interact with the athlete in public ways that signal you know something. And follow up — the athlete who opened up once needs to know the opening was received with care.

Keep the confidence. Follow up with care. Know when safety overrides confidentiality. That is the responsible handling of the trust you were given.

Practical knowledge check. The chaplain should have explicit clarity on these obligations before they are needed.