The Athlete's Inner Game
I want to make a distinction that some of you need to hear.
There’s a difference between coaching and criticism. They can sound similar. They can feel similar, especially when you’re on the receiving end. But they’re not the same thing. And confusing them costs you.
Read this passage slowly.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29 — NIVLet that sit for a second before you move.
Building others up according to their needs. That’s the standard for healthy communication. The goal of what you say should be the benefit of the person hearing it.
Coaching, when it’s working, does that. The correction is aimed at helping you improve. The hard truth is delivered because the coach wants you to get better, not because they want you to feel bad. The feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable, is coming from a place of investment in your development.
Criticism — the destructive kind — is different. It’s aimed at the person rather than the behavior. It tears down without building. It’s delivered with contempt rather than care. It makes the athlete feel less capable rather than showing them how to become more capable.
The athlete who can’t distinguish between these two things is at a disadvantage. They experience all correction as attack, which means they respond defensively to the coaching that could actually help them. And defensiveness shuts down learning.
Here’s the question worth asking when you receive hard feedback: is this aimed at helping me improve, or is it aimed at making me feel bad? Most coaching, even when it’s delivered imperfectly, is the first thing. Not all of it. But most of it.
Default to receiving coaching as investment. Protect yourself from actual contempt. Know the difference.
The athlete who experiences all correction as attack loses access to the coaching that could actually help them.
Think about your default response to hard coaching. Are you more likely to receive it or defend against it? What would it look like to lean slightly more toward receiving?
Not asking for a complete reversal — just a degree of shift. That’s more achievable and honest.
Receive coaching. Protect against contempt. Know the difference.
Use this devotional when specific athletes are visibly defensive in response to coaching. It reframes the relationship without naming anyone.