Team Chemistry
I want to challenge something that most of us believe without realizing it.
Most of us think that letting a teammate slide — not saying anything when they’re out of line, not holding them to the standard, looking the other way — is the kind thing to do. The loyal thing.
I want to suggest it’s actually the opposite.
Read this passage slowly.
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Proverbs 27:5–6 — NIVLet that sit for a second before you move.
Open rebuke over hidden love. Wounds from a friend over kisses from an enemy. Proverbs is saying: the person who tells you the hard truth is doing something more loving than the person who keeps their criticism to themselves to protect the relationship.
Hidden love — care that never risks itself — is not actually that caring. It’s comfortable for the person holding it. And it leaves the person they supposedly care about without the information they need to get better.
On a team: the teammate who holds you accountable is doing you a favor. They’re treating you like someone capable of better. They’re trusting that the relationship can hold a hard conversation. They’re prioritizing your growth over their comfort.
The teammate who never says anything, who lets your standard slide because they don’t want the awkwardness of the conversation — they might feel like a friend in the moment. But they’re choosing their comfort over your development. That’s not love. That’s avoidance dressed up as loyalty.
Real accountability on a team is one of the hardest things to build. It requires trust, courage, and the right relationship. But the team that has it is the team where everyone gets better because nobody gets away with less than their best. That team is almost impossible to beat.
The teammate who holds you accountable is treating you like someone capable of better. That’s not confrontation. That’s care.
When was the last time someone held you accountable to a standard and it actually made you better? What made that possible?
Builds appreciation for accountability by anchoring it to a positive past experience.
Say the hard thing. That’s what loving your teammate actually looks like.
Most powerful when used proactively — establishing a culture of accountability before it’s needed, not only after a specific incident.
Scripture, teach from “On a team” to the end, send-off.