Asking the Room What’s Actually Wrong

I want to try something today that might feel different.

Instead of telling you what I think is wrong, I want to ask you.

Because the truth is, I’ve been watching film and running practices and I can see that something is off — but I’m not sure I’ve correctly identified what it is. And the people in this room are closer to whatever it is than I am.

So I’m asking. What’s actually wrong?

Read this passage slowly.

Let that sit for a second before you move.

Quick to listen. Slow to speak. That’s the posture that creates the conditions for honest conversation. The leader who walks in already knowing the answer, who listens only long enough to confirm what they’ve already decided, gets surface-level responses. The one who is genuinely curious, genuinely open, genuinely listening without the agenda of a pre-formed conclusion — that leader gets the real thing.

Asking the room what’s wrong is one of the most powerful and underused tools in coaching. It communicates several things simultaneously: I don’t have to be the one who always knows. I trust you to tell me the truth. What you see matters. This room is capable of diagnosing itself if we create the right conditions.

The conditions for honest team diagnosis are specific. Safety first — the room has to believe that honesty won’t be punished. Genuine curiosity from the coach — not a performance of listening while waiting to dismiss. And patient space for the answer to emerge, which almost never comes immediately and often comes from unexpected sources.

Be quick to listen. Slow to speak. What comes into that space is usually exactly what the room needs to say and the coach needs to hear.

This question requires the coach to be genuinely open rather than performing openness. The room will read the difference immediately. Create real space and don’t rush to fill the silence.